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| "Shark-boy the Red Nosed Reindeer" |
This morning at 6:45 A.M. I was greeted by "Shark-boy the Red Nosed Reindeer" A.K.A. Prestin Todd who should have been in bed until his older brother gets up at around 7:00 A.M. (at least that's the rule we try to enforce at our house). Today, the outfit won me over and so I did not put him back in bed.
Tami and I often get asked about bedtime routines and sleeping arrangements at our house.
First off, I should dispel the myth that we own a humongous "Dugger sized" house (No knock on the Duggars...that's just what people often ask). We are, however, fortunate enough to own a home that has five bedrooms. Our rooms aren't huge but we make it work.
Now, about our rooming arrangements... our current arrangements are as follows; Irelin and Brealin share a room, Trezdin and Prestin share a room as well. Keegin has his own room because it is very small and baby Cohin sleeps in our room. Our four oldest girls: Ashlin, Jaylin, Evalin and Madelin all share a room as well. **At this time we would like pause and thank the inventor of the bunk bed.** Now, before you go feeling sorry for the four girls who share one room, let me explain something... they have the biggest bedroom in the house. This past year my wife and I gave up the master bed and bathrooms so they could have more space. Tami and I took one of the larger bedrooms on the upper level where all the smaller kids are.
Here are a couple rules we live by.
1. Once we say "goodnight" it's lights out and everyone should stay in bed. We try and cover all the bases so there are no excuses. We lay out clothes for the next day, go potty, brush teeth, read books, get a drink, say prayers, and give kisses. When the light goes out (and the night light goes on) we expect the kids to stay in bed until we wake them up for school.
2. No one sleeps in Mom and Dad's bed. There have been few exceptions to this rule.
*Very bad thunder and lightening storms.
*Miserable sickness (the child must be near death).
Contrary to some parents beliefs, it is not damaging to a child to say "no" who asks to sleep with you. In fact, I would argue that it is more damaging to let your child sleep with you than to say "no" and put them in their own beds.
Our philosophy:
First, parents may be inadvertently rewarding fear by letting their children sleep with them. If you are catering to their night time fears it makes me wonder what other fears you are willing to cater to? Just say'n...
Secondly, What parents think is an exercise in care and comfort may actually be stunting their personal / psychologiacl growth and development. Establishing the "bed boundary" with kids helps them individuate acomplishing a night on their won can actually build their selfesteem. Parents can praise and reward their kids for sleeping on their own. As they do, they will see the child's since self confidence grow.
The rest is just practical: We like our alone time and we have way too many kids to let them all sleep in bed with us! I can't imagine anyone getting a good nights rest with 10 kids in our bed.
3. Bedtimes are consistent. We've met a lot of people who let their kids stay up as late as they do. We've met others who let the fall asleep where ever they finally crash and from there they carry them up to bed. We believe in routine for a number of reasons...
Our bodies need rest! Regular bedtimes and routines help our children prepare for sleep and get the most out of it.
Bed Times at the Hair house are as follows...
7:30 PM
Keegin 2 yrs old
Prestin 3 yrs old
8:00-8:30 PM
Brealin 5 yrs old
Irelin 6 yrs old
9:00-9:30 PM
Trezdin 8 yrs old
9:30-10:00 PM
The Four Oldest Girls
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